It’s surprising how easy and impossibly difficult life can be at times. All things considered, I think the things that most people make out to be terribly scary to do are the easiest, while the little things sometimes come down to being the most stressful of all.
Day to day dinner freaks me out. I’ll eat anything, so that’s not the problem. What is? Well, I suspect I know what the problem is. I don’t like to make people upset with me. I want to help make people’s lives easier, and in this case, if I pick the wrong thing for Piper and Ashley, they’re going to be upset with me. Maybe. I have chronic “whatever you would call that”edness. It’s actually fairly debilitating. Probably linked to my shyness which I started to get over a little bit ever since going to Governor’s School for the Arts, but sometimes I feel myself slipping back into it because it’s comfortable/easy. Awkward silences are quickly becoming my forte again.
I probably just need to get over it, and that’s the easy solution to tell myself: I’ll get over it later, or it’s not that big a deal. Dealing with it is scary, though, because I know it means that I have to actually DO the thing I’m scared to do. I make a big deal about spiders being the only thing I’m scared of and while I don’t want anything to do with those nasty, nasty, crawly, gives-me-the-willies bugs, I’d much rather take them versus having attention drawn to me.
You all are psychiatrists, right? What do you do? I can’t imagine everyone in their underwear because, frankly, I don’t want to see everyone in their underwear. I suppose they say to take it one step at a time… now to figure out which steps to take…
I feel the same pressure and luckily I only have my wife to please. My problem is I often times try to force her into telling me what she wants for dinner. That works a little bit but mostly not. Rather, it often leads me down a road of naming everything I can think of while she remains indecisive. This increasingly aggravates me the further we get down this path until finally I end up being a jerk to her because she’s not living into my expectation of how decisions should be made.
Long story short, I’m not much help here only to let you know it could be worse. At least you’re not a jerk who ends up turning a good deed into a a-hole moment. The worst part is then having her kick my arse in video games. What a guy!
I think on my end neither Ashley nor Piper is that picky, I just have the perception they might be for some reason even though I know whatever I might want to make would be fine. Well, Piper can be a bit of a jerk when she doesn’t get her way… a lot of a jerk, really.
I go with the idea that my preacher says. God does not want you to be comfortable. If you are comfortable then you aren’t doing things right. Generally, this applies to witnessing but it is a good policy to apply to the rest of your life as well.
No offense Allen but if your preacher is offering that as an all encompassing feeling to your entire life then I couldn’t disagree more. I don’t believe God created all the natural beauty, joy and blessings of community if he wanted us to always be uncomfortable.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding your point? Again, no offense, just curious with that thought process.
I’d have to agree with Chris to a point… I don’t think you can apply that to EVERYTHING in your life, but I think there are definitely times when it’s beneficial or expected to be uncomfortable.
I think we could look at it as an uncomfortability that has a purpose, such as something to overcome or an occasion to rise to. If we look through those situations through that lens, then maybe it makes sense. I’m never going to be comfortable going into a “house of ill repute” but that’s not something I need to overcome. I’d like to not be uncomfortable around people I don’t really know, but that is something I can see overcoming.
Not comfortable as in phyical comfort but more as in emotional. Sure, I’m comfortable sitting on my couch watching TV, but God would rather I be out witnessing to people that haven’t heard about him. This is the part where you are in an uncomfortable situation.
I agree it’s not applicable to every situation, but for ones where you are trying to overcome a personal weakness then I believe it is.
Wow, this topic derailed in a hurry.
Josh, for as long as I’ve known you, you seem to lack confidence in yourself. I think most of your issues described above probably stem from that.
I would argue that out of all the husbands in the world, you’re probably doing a damn good job compared to most. The fact that you fix your family dinner probably puts you ahead of most, not to mention the other good qualities you have. If your wife and child are happy with whatever you fix, why should it bother you? I think you worry too much about dissappointing people.
Also, I don’t really think three year olds should get much of a vote when it comes to what to eat. Sure, its nice to give them something they like, but ultimately you, as the parent, know what they need to eat.
The dinner thing was mostly an example. It does happen, but not that often. You’re right, though. There are just some things I lack confidence in but it’s one of those chicken or the egg things for me. Does shyness beget lack of confidence or vice versa?
I’m late to the party, as usual.
I’m not a shy person, generally, but I’ve always been a wreck when it comes to public speaking/public anything that involves me being solo. I work so well in a group that’s performing or even a duo. But the solo thing, eek! So, certain aspects of trial work is definitely out of my comfort zone.
And that’s exactly why I’ve made such a push to get myself into the courtroom and out of my comfort zone. The only way to get over the fear is to take the plunge and do it. If it’s something you really want that is. I’m terrified of spiders. I suppose if I made an effort to go to some zoo and let a bunch of giant furry ones crawl all over me, I might get over that fear. But I’m okay with being afraid of spiders.
I don’t know that it’s always a lack of confidence that makes a person shy. It’s probably a good part of it. But sometimes it’s just not really having a natural ability to do something like strike up conversations with strangers in a room full of people, or get up in front of a group of people and do improv. Maybe the confidence thing plays into it, or maybe it’s just not caring if you make an ass of yourself. I dunno. I know I can be in a room full of strangers and make new friends, but being in front of that group of strangers and speaking makes me want to throw up. Figure that one out!
As for the food thing, I figure if someone’s cooking my food, I’ll eat it!